My GrandPa
My Grandpa
My grandpa was very sweet and kind,
He had a very smart and wise mind,
His laugh was so clear it could brighten your day,
a smile so warm it could melt your troubles away,
His eyes were black and as dark as the night,
Him being gone is like frostbite,
The hair on his head had strands of white and black,
Knowing he was gone was like my heart had been attacked,
He was very skinny and thin,
But now I can no longer speak aloud to him,
But inside my heart there is part of him in me,
My memories with him are filled with glee.
This Poem is dedicated to my grandfather who passed away 6 years ago. The longer time goes by the longer I will miss him. I wish if he could read this poem he would be proud of me.
Lynne WONDERFUL poem!!! Only thing I would change would be the “who has passed away for 6 years.” in your notes section. It should be either “who passed away 6 years ago.” or “who has been gone for 6 years”.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for your comments, they have really improved my writing skills!
ReplyDeleteLynne this is such a great poem and it shows so much emotion, which I think is very important for a poet. I would like to suggest one thing though. After you make the subject known at the beginning of your poem you do not always have to use the pronoun repeatedly in your poems. For example you could say "a laugh so clear it could brighten your day" or "a smile so warm it could take your troubles away." Even though you don't say that these things belong to him your reader will still understand. This is just a suggestion though. It is a wonderful poem!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment. I will change it ASAP.
ReplyDeleteI love your poem! I just lost my Grandfather last week and I know how you feel!
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness, I'm so sorry. Thank you for reading, I hope you and your family are okay.
ReplyDelete