Not Everyone Has To Like You for You to Be a Good Person

Hey everyone! So recently for one of my classes I was asked to give an epiphany speech. For those who don't know, an epiphany is a sudden moment of realization. For my speech I talked about my constant struggle of caring too much about what others thought of me. My speech was about me realizing that I should love myself more. Although I was supposed to write this speech on an epiphany I have already had, I must admit that this epiphany is still a work in progress. I know that I shouldn't care too much about others and society but it has been a constant struggle still. I know that when I have this sudden realization my life will change for the better. I hope by reading this speech I can inspire all of you to love yourselves. Each one of us is special and important in our own way and I hope that I can help contribute to even changing a small part of your life. I hope you enjoy my speech and please feel free to comment. Thank you so much!

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What is the definition of a good person? Is it someone who is always positive? Is it someone who cares a lot about everything? Is it someone who always does the right thing? In the past, I have always believed that a good person is someone who everyone likes. But what is the actual definition of a good person? Well, the answer is simple, there isn’t one. The definition of a good person literally changes each time you ask a different person. So if there isn’t a definition of what a good person should be like, how come throughout most of my life, I have lived believing that I wasn’t one. How come I know so many people who I have believed to be good people, feel the exact same way as I did? It seems that I was always living and doing actions based off the perceptions and opinions of others. My life seemed to be a never ending spiral of People Don’t Like Me, and how can I change that? This was an endless road of trying to change who I was in order for people to like me, in order to gain their approval.

It was an endless road until one day, when I was upset over something someone had told me, my mother sat me down and told me seven words that changed my entire way of thinking, “Not Everyone Is Going To Like You.” That’s when it hit me, not everyone is going to like me. And if not everyone is going to like me why am I so concerned about the opinions of individuals that I didn’t even necessarily like.  

So I’m pretty sure throughout most of our lives we’ve grown up being told to be good. So don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with having someone tell you that you should treat others with respect or help people in need. But learning to be a good person is very different from changing yourself just to have others like you. Everyone should learn how to do things that make them love themselves instead of doing things to please others. Just because you do something that one person doesn't like, it doesn't make you a bad person. You can’t please everyone so you should start by pleasing yourself. Once you start to believe that you are a good person and you become someone that you like, the opinions of one or two individuals will start to matter less to you.

I’m almost positive that sometime in our lives we have been told something that has made us feel bad about ourselves. But does that make all of us bad people? It’s important that we never lower our self-esteem because of what someone feels toward us. At the end of the day, it’s more important to be someone who makes you happy rather than to be with someone who makes you happy. It is like EE Cummings once said, “Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.” Your spirit should be under your control. The way that you feel about yourself should never change so that it can fit the mold of what other people want.

Throughout my entire life I have gone through many changes. I have gone through changes when I became so fake that I didn't even remember who I really was.  Each comment or criticism about my personality went straight to my heart. There was no filter that stopped mean opinions from hurting me, each word was like a dagger cutting through me and changing something about the way I was. If someone acted even the slightest bit harsh towards me I’d automatically assume that I wasn't being a good person. I hated myself and who I was instead of the people who had hurt me. I became my own worst enemy taking the opinions of individuals and using them against myself. Lynne they don’t like you what are you doing wrong? Lynne that girl didn’t say hi why aren’t you friendlier? Lynne your friend stopped talking to you so what did you do this time?  And these constant thoughts that I had put in my head hurt me more than anything. I thought a was a girl who had so many problems who had so many issues that even random strangers wouldn't be nice to her. But now when I look back I often wonder why. Why did I try to change myself for people who didn’t make me happy? Why did I try to change myself for complete strangers?  If someone didn’t like me, why was that my problem and not theirs? Why was I the victim and the bad guy all at once? Often times, people are confusing. Often times people say things that they don’t even mean. It’s important that you try to brush off their comments instead of soaking everything in like a sponge. Don’t absorb all this burden. Just because people don’t like you doesn’t mean you are at fault. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person.

C. Joybell once said, “The unhappiest people in this world, are those who care the most about what other people think.”  I could not agree more. The day that I realized that what I thought of myself mattered more than what others thought was the day that I started to be happier. The day that I realized not to care too much about opinions was the day that I started to not feel like my own enemy. The day that I realized that not everyone has to like me, was the day that I finally started to like myself.

So, if you take only one thing from my speech, I hope it's that you shouldn't always blame yourself. Learn to love yourself so you can finally take all the useless harsh comments in your mind and simply toss them all away. 

                Thank you