Count to Ten

"I'll be right back when you count to ten.
I'll be right here next to you by then."

You made a promise so I closed my eyes,
Not seeing through your dumb disguise.

"One"
I say with a little smile,
thinking I would only have to wait a little while.

"Two"
I utter wishing I could count quicker,
so we could go back to the way things were.

"Three"
I declare a twinkle in my voice,
wishing that we could be together and rejoice.

"Four"
I say my voice shaking a little,
feeling a little tired and brittle.

"Five"
I sigh anxiety setting in,
wondering where my love has been.

"Six"
I whisper my heart beating fast,
wishing I could be done counting at last.

"Seven"
I mutter nervously squirming,
worrying about everything.

"Eight"
I murmur, almost there,
a few more seconds I just couldn't bear.

"Nine"
I say feeling my fear even more,
dread settling in to my very core.

"Ten"
I say finally opening my eyes,
And the terror I had felt starts to rise.

And at "Eleven" I knew he was gone,
and that all my thoughts about us were wrong.

I could only wish he didn't go.
Only wish that time would move more slow.
Only wish that he didn't feed me lies.
Only wish it didn't take me this long to realize.
Only wish my counting was not quite done...

But mostly just wishing I had stopped counting at one.